


Would I Be Ready?

by WolfJas04



Series: Is This Angst? [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfJas04/pseuds/WolfJas04
Summary: Hinata is someone who can't express himself well through words.His monochrome world bringing him pain until he met Iwaizumi.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Iwaizumi Hajime, Hinata Shouyou/Iwaizumi Hajime
Series: Is This Angst? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1749364
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Would I Be Ready?

**Author's Note:**

> Im not good at describing the scenes i have in my head, but i hope that somehow this delivered it out well! If there are any typos please tell me!

I was always different from other people. I rarely talked to people unless necessary and stayed away from crowds. I couldn't express myself like other people and I'm not good with words. People said things like ‘he’s abnormal’, ‘Psycho’ because of it. What is it exactly, to be normal? Interacting with people a lot more? Being nice to everyone? If I talk to people a lot more and interact with them, would they think I'm normal? What do they want me to do, for them to think I'm normal? Do I have to be someone I'm not? 

The few friends I had, had drifted away from me, I guess they didn't want someone as dull as me. Without them I was alone, I felt so vulnerable. The words ‘Psycho’ and ‘Abnormal’ echoed through my head, it was tormenting. Even I myself, began to believe that I was abnormal. Slowly the wall that was building up around me covered me entirely, not letting anyone in. It was suffocating, I tried not to think about what other people say but it was hard. Every time, it would creep up in my thoughts, drowning me. But I never cried about it, not even once. I kept it all inside this box, waiting for the day that it breaks. I pray that that day will not come. I'm not ready for that day where no one is there for me.

I never told my family about it, i didnt wanna be a burden. I rarely talked to my parents, I only talked to Natsu. She would ask me why i always seem to be sad, but i always told her not to worry about it. But they had started to notice my habits, they gave me worried looks every time I passed by. They would talk to me about it and assure me that they’ll always be by my side. It felt comfortable having those talks with them and they smile after they see me cheerful again. But they weren’t enough.

I met Yachi and became friends with her, she was one of the people who I let my guard down around. Being with her was nice, she would often tell me that my eyes always light up when i was happy, which confuses me.  
“Wha- Your eyes lit up!” Yachi said, surprised. Her eyes were wide open as she looked at me. I looked at her in disbelief and touched my face.  
“Eh- really?” I said. She nodded quickly.  
“Yeah! Your eyes went like gwahhh for a second!!” She said, as she did hand movements to express it and I tilted my head confused.

It became a habit for Yachi, she would always be excited when she saw it. I found it amusing and would always laugh about it, she would then tell me that my eyes were glowing brightly. I began to wonder, does my eyes really light up? I looked at myself in the mirror looking at my eyes. They were dark, no light being reflected, it didn't shine, it was void.

But then i met you, your warm hands that would hold my hand tightly, your broad shoulders that made me feel safe, the soft gaze you gave me that made my heart beat as if it hadn't for a long time, your touch that told me ‘I’m here’ and ‘You’re not alone.’. You broke through my walls as if they didn't exist, the walls that I had put up to shelter myself from pain. This monochrome world of mine had started to gain color, lights began to surround me. These bright glowing colors that have surrounded me made me feel somehow happy. Ah, what is this. I suddenly feel light and warm. I hadn't even noticed the tears that began to flow until I touched my face. Ah, it finally broke. I smiled, I've always imagined that the time I would let all my emotions out would be much more tragic and painful, but this was different, I felt happy but I also felt sad.  
“You shouldn't be too kind to me.” i said as i smiled at him. I'm not sure about what emotions i feel right now. All I received was a pinch in the cheeks.  
“Do you want me to do the opposite then?” Iwaizumi said, looking at me. I stared at my feet and shook my head.  
“No!” i said as i raised my head to look at his eyes. His eyes that held so much care and warmth. He smiled and ruffled my hair.  
“Let me take care of you, Shouyou.” Iwaizumi said as he looked at me with those eyes that made me feel at ease.

You made me feel again, made me happy, you made me feel emotions that i didn’t know. This bond you’ve made with me is powerful, i don't know what i’d do if it were severed. This bond is dangerous, it can either hurt me or make me feel happy.

I wonder, if one day you’ll also leave me and go somewhere else. Would you think about me? Miss me? Or forget about me? Would I be ready to face the loneliness that you have saved me from? 

I don't wanna think about it, but i can't. These thoughts that i dread from happening, i can't help but think they would. It’s painful, suffocating. These thoughts that threatened to pull me back into the dark void of loneliness, I kept it back and locked it away. But I still can't help but think.

Would I be ready for a life without you?

**Author's Note:**

> I watched Your lie in April and i didnt cry, i feel acomplished!!


End file.
